sonnestrahlen

i jus started my new photo blog

chk it out!!

All the things i did have bought me a lot many other things tht i am now into......


Me getting into this college and this campus, have changed me a lot from what i was before, my perpectives changed, my views on life changed and me changed completely.......!!!

later me got into the film club and then from there i moved onto synapse. the whole of first year was fun working wid tholia n mayank bhayya and ujjwal n rest of them....
with synapse, i learnt to shoulder responsibilites....

later synapse i started to work on the upgradation of the squirrelmail, our webmail!!!, along with atishay bhayya, though i hadn't done much of work in it....but prathyush, did a lot of work on it!!!
the same time i was elected to the annual fest committe....along with it came in the responsibility of Synapse 2006...!!

It was a hell of a semester for me....with the meetings and the regular blabber we uesd have even for the smallest thing....
Same time, in the 3rd semester i was also into student goverment's constitution drafting committee and also tholia bhayya caught me for the same film club's constitution...!!!!

i also had to make the website fr synapse and that was another of a task to me...!!
we, ranjit and i utimately ended up wid one....and i still love tht thing, though ppl. complaint tht it is bad....the more worse being i had to create every html page of the website....i thought of getting some juniors, but later dropped tht idea....!! [me selfish!!!]

the whole of the semster went on with late night discussions and bakar.....n ultimately i screwed up big time and ended up with heavy grades!!!! and again it was a hell of time at home in the winter vaction...!!!!


then came the 4th semester and deadline for synapse ticked and everyday was something or the other.....putting up fights wid the admin and faculty fr resources which we gt in meagre amounts!!! and that taught me one good thing....whose who in the campus....the admin block's full of empty brains tingling each other....including the boss and this damn secretary....

synapse came and went....i over strained myself and i myself was out of mind for a long time, screwing up things big time...hurting those close to me...and ultimatelty ended up with me losing everything, and the only thing i ever loved!!!

synapse was better that previous year's in terms of participation and few other factors. and we got again screwed up big time when the day before the synapse the sponsors back out and an amount of nearly 2 lacs is outta our plan and budget....n later the fest we get another shot of 1.5 more lacs....!! and phut!! there we go for a six..........!!!
ujjwal went brain dead, obviously the guy who manages the finances can't take in this big a shot, certainly not at this level, where we stand as students!!!
we the small grp of us...were standing in the middle of road tht took us no where...we stared at each asking ourselves....wht do u do now?? WHT WILL U DO?????!!!!

and on the other side...i was disturbed after i had met a big time arsehole - V.P.Singh!!!
i was frustated and angry on everyone and everything,....and it was at this point of time i did real bad...ended up saying something to someone...which i ought should not have done, and of which i am still guilty!!! i was not even able to devote enough time, to set things right and i ended up being a losed!!!


later these days, i jus ask myself why did u do tht?? WHY U ASSHOLE!!
now, i am not able to reassure people that i am the same old ravi!!




and after synapse.....

somethings good started happening, which i was not able to appriciate...fr me being in depression abt tht things tht happened to me...!!!

manu rastogi, had me...and asked me to make a website for the vlsi grp of the college...!!
and his advice influenced me a lot!!

then later somehow our librarian, caught me and asked me, if i can maintain the website for the library and it was a 'yes' from my mouth!!! now whenever i get a mail from him...it implies tht my 2 hrs go in waste....the current website is so damned, tht i takes hours jus to update a few things......

and the lastest being prathyush too asked me, if i can work for the website for vlsi design and embedded systems conference website, and there again came a 'yes' frm my mouth!!

in between this semester i also managed to do a few more websites...

intranet, which never went up...
placement, jus the layout structuring and stuff..
college main website...the same layout structuring and stuff....still needs to be approved!!!

and recently...the new responsibilty i took upon,- the PLACEMENTS!!!


and the consequence of where i am is, i had learnt a lot, a LOT.....and the trust ppl. have in me means a lot to me!!!

sometimes i feel like....did i really give up everything i loved, to be wht i am now!!! is it worth giving up the best part of your life, something which u love more than anything else...!!!

for certain reasons i regret the past....and for few little reasons i don't !!!

whenever i open the almriah in the TV room of the Film Club,
my hands get itchy and the eyes get greedy...

the collection of the movies there, brings out the greedy me, out!!!
and always it's a tough time to control myself from laying my hands on that collection...

it just feels like grab them all at a time and take them away....

but, the thing tht holds me back are the principles and the legacy that tholia bhayya laid down here...!! i really respect tht a lot!!

i miss the sweet talks we had, with our cheeks going flubby and round, everytime u laugh..
i miss the name 'gibbon', which u used to call me, i miss the love and affection in tht...
i miss the few 'ra', which came rarely out of your mouth...
i miss the time when i used to eagarly wait for ur mail, staring at the window to turn "Inbox(1)"...
i miss the countless walks we had, kicking around the stones...
i miss the days, when we walked down the road again and again and.....talking abt all the stupid things in the world and laughing to the hearts content....

i miss the days, when we sat under the tree playing around with the dry leaves n twigs lying all around...
i miss the dew on the leaves, along the road, of which i used to collect and splash them onto u!!
i miss the cute and lovely moments when u used to frown for petty little things...
i miss ur lovely cute little expression on ur lips that, u used to put fr "i donno"...
i miss the warmth of the frndship, that u gave me, whenever i was down!!
i miss the encouragement, i got for everything i did!!
i miss the times when i used to hear 'ravi,.....' in the most sweetest tone!!

now..

when i walk down the road and when i turn to say something, i realize i am walking ALONE.....n would be all alone...forever...and it pains a lot miss the one!! the pain makes me to hate, but still there's a lot of love somewhere, which keeps me going!!!

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

back to the blogging times in the DBMS lab....

Back to the college after a 4 day break ..

back home, i spent the days eating and sleeping..those were the only things i did all the day around....
and also the damn 5 hr power cut, runied my sleep everytime!!!

yesterday, was another stressful day!!!

i forgot all my things to done, back home.....on the sunday morning i had to go for my eye check up and then had to run to get the spectacles made......

later had to pack my things...and had to convince mom to allow me to take the digi cam to college....phew!! tht was the most difficult thing....finally settled down before the TV to watch a movie when the power was again out!!!

had a short nap....

The train in which i got my ticket reserved was to depart at 2100 hrs....
me planned to start at 1900 so tht, even if the traffic's high i would reach Bandra on time...

but the damn traffic was stuck right from Kharghar....n lost 30 mins there....then another damned junction SION.....here, it took an hour to get out of the traffic.....
jus caught the train a minute before it departed, but was happy tht i could get onto the train somehow.....

Later, climbed my berth and went to sleep at around 2130 and in the morning when i got up it was 0730 and the train had already crossed Ahmedabad.

The first thing to come out of my mouth was - f***in f***!!!

Later, i was reassured by the co-passengers that, i need not panic, i can get down in the next station - Kalol and go to Gandhinagar by bus, a 45 min journey.


Today, during the journey from Kalol to Gandhinagar, i had the view of the Gujarat countryside.... It mostly resembled the country side back at my native place....

Wat is COLLEGE LIFE?
Those "night outs" those "mid-night teas" those "B'day bumps" ;
"old torn jeans" those "late night walks";"long chats";"pinches & slaps";
"crushes on pals...N fightin 4 'em"...."falthu jokes";"bunkin classes";
"calculatin attendence percentage.......copyin in teste & assgnmts";
"gettin kicked out of classes";"struggle 4 marks";"writin on desks";
"fightin with profs";"pranks on frndz";"those B-grade films....."

..........jus everything........DATZ COLLEGE LIFE----------I CALL IT AS 'HEAVEN'


College life...the late mornings u get up..the late nites u go 4 coffee.......gosssips with frnds sitting together....the time spend in the restaurants....the rush 2 cinema theatres.....the slam books u write.....the hearts that u knock.......the messgs u send.....nite outs 4 xam.......College days r very precious...enjoy every movement to the full extent of ur life



U r a GENIUS.... Ur Brain is a MASTER PIECE. It is Divided in two parts... LEFT & RIGHT. In the LEFT nothing is RIGHT... & In the RIGHT nothing is LEFT

Had a great time today....

went on a long drive to Ahmedabad railway station...

The most wonderful thing of all is, my driving instinct's were back....a month i lost them, wasn't able to concentrate properly.....n rode on a knife's edge...everytime i went out, i missed a minimun of 3 crashes...

but, today it different....i jus loved the drive..it jus was different...

on the way to ahmedabad..i wasn't confident of myself, so jus went slowly....

but the way back..... "i am a leaf, watch me soar in the wind!!!"
things changed....i was soaring high at 80kmph!!!

i jus couldn't belive myself...the mind...it was on the road...completely on the road!!!
i thought damn..!!! wht happend to me.....me concentrating!!! heheheeee

but the damned helment!! it ruins the vision....and the damend 'bajaj pulsar', its the worst bike i ever drove...the speed's fine....the deisgn's real bad.....u cant drive confortably with hands relaxed....my hand's pained a lot....still paining... :(

but still i enjoyed the ride....


n i cant key in more....maybe some other time


back home i gonna rock n roll wid my love...!!!!!




my love....!!!


this's during the flood's in bombay!!

This is what i started off with, when i first took the responsiblity of making the website for Synapse 2006







when i look back at these one's i feel a bit odd and embrassed.....
but happy with the fact tht i had a good guide - Ranjit Singh

this one i got the abtract of the top image from Mohit Gupta, n they reworked that a bit..


i had to put this one up, when i had to put something up, jus for the heck of it....


this one's a completely copied idea....i reworked on some website image..i happend to get from somewhere.....while i was back home...


this was the final tht went. i did NOT design the website....it was designed by Abhishek Gupta. I structured it in html n stuff n maintained it(i didn't do a gud job in maintaining it!!!)...




INTRANET


the next assignment was the intranet site for our college......
though it never went up, i donno the reasons.....probably me being a small fish....




IEEE

finally, after intranet, i got to work on the IEEE student branch's website....till now i jus designed the look..but have to still complete the website...



LIBRARY

somehow, our librarian was impressed by my work on Synapse's website..n asked me if i could volunteer to design and maintain the website for our Resource Center. and as usual i could nt say NO...n accepted the job....

m still working on the design....n lot more to go..

n now i can probably, proudly say, the only student staff in the Resource Center(though i am not paid fr my job...i still love it....)
I am the Webmaster for the Resource Center's website.





VLSI

this too, Manu Rastogi asked me to design one for the college's VLSI group..the most active research grp in our college....n again i couldn't say no....


i happened to make this one accidently....the orange streak...was actually supposed to be a small rectangle by the side.....


i did first after i was inspired by the refection works of Abhishek Gupta...n thought of using them over here....


the final one....n my first website on a public domain!!!!


And i got to work on a website for an International Conference on VLSI Design and Embedded Systems...m still working on the design....and the usability...(last year's site)
Along wid me are Naman Arora and Indira Negi to work for the entire website...nt jus the design!!







and of all the things....for wht i am today from where i started off....the only thing i had to sacrifice were my grades.....
if Manu bhayya's gonna read this he's gonna kill me!!!

Everytime i feel like holding the, only few things that i love in this world, tight and hold them forever and shield them everything and everyone else.
i jus want to keep them for myself, no one can touch them,they are mine...and only mine..

the feeling about the things u love is the most beautiful of all, it takes aways the frustation and the anger u have sometimes on them, when they don't turn or behave as u expect.....but the love u have on them, stays above all.
the anger and frustation doesn't last long....they gradually fade out...n more love builds up.....n again the next time u get angry/frustated, u get hurt....which again gradually fades out and gives in place for more love...n this recurrsion goes on!!!

inspite all this , i still ponder over many times wht actually is LOVE....????

......has finally begun his life today!!!

the new rays of hope are back!!!

Somehow, i jus managed to push back the old memories, with some help, back into past...hope they never haunt me again.....
They are the things that had taken away my hope and me from myself....
I had lost interest in life n things around...jus felt blank...n felt real bad...
Those days have been left behind...they had been the worst days of my life...
slowly they ate me away...


but, ENOUGH, i had ENOUGH.....

now it time to be back to be normal!!!


my dear lovely cutie frnds...i am back to what i am...n maybe better than what i was !!!

"be interestin to urself n 4 otherz....."

.....has been a nightmare for me!!!

Last time, i was out to Gandhinagar, i went to get mine n my frnds tickets reserved for the summer. Tht day, i jus happened to avoid crashing into others, 6 times. And back today, though i didn't drive but again it was the same. And also saw a damned jeep driver nearly bumping into a girl on a Luna.

Previously, i myself was not driving properly, maybe i was stressed a lot, and could not concentrate on the road.
But, it was always been a habit to me that, i happen to concentrate on the road more the driver himself. Even the days when i had my driving lessons, i had a tough time, it was then, when i happened to realize, what actually concentration is.

I learnt driving quite fast, within a week i was able to drive quite well. That was something that made me feel - "Do i have the spirit to be good driver???"

But these days i have nearly lost it completely. I am not able to concentrate on it, back home i donno how i am gonna handle my 'love'....(nxt week i am going home!!)

mom's always worried when i go out alone with my 'love'...
last time when i was back home, i jus happened to avoid crashing into a truck on the highway..after tht i jus don feel like driving, i don wanna hurt my love ane more..it already had lot of damage!!!


sometimes, i jus think - why don't i quit driving.....but, driving's only thing tht keeps me in myself.....the only source of happiness for me, these days.

somehow, due to the things around i have lost interest in everything, even the things that used to keep me on my toes, have gone numb.....i jus don't feel like doing anything....

certain things have occupied my brain...and it's been a though time for me.....

it's time for a break.....but donno...i can't have the break....
some other thing tells me.... ravi, u can't stop here....u gotta get what u want no matter wht....!!

but, i feel some emptiness in life, i miss someone a l...l....lo......lot....lot more than anything.....n tht someone....
i too c...c....ca.....can't figure out w..wh...wht....what happened, i jus am not able to u..un..understand!!!


it seems like me walking down a dark endless raod...which leads nowhere....!!!!!

It happens sometimes!!!

the rarest moment of my life....!!